Introduction to Conversations
At times I think…where is all this information really coming from which allowed me to compose the following writings… I definitely can’t claim to be the originator, author perhaps, but not originator…I certainly didn’t make it up, my mind just isn’t wired in a way to do so….so if it isn’t me, that would mean it would be coming from sources beyond me and beyond my understanding…What even makes it more interesting is I didn’t begin to research the concept of communication with the Spiritual realm until after most of the writings were already in the computer. But in doing the research, I found strong evidence that not only supported my premise, but it most often directly mirrored the information I had written. Therefore, I could only conclude that there are sources beyond my own mind that would need to be the originators of the information. However, I will let the reader decide for themselves whether they agree with this conclusion. For reference purposes I have dated some of the writings as to when they were generated. As well, I have color coded the writings, what is written in PURPLE are the thoughts which I feel could have come from the spiritual Devine which is a concept I long ago realized is within every human’s capability to receive if they open themselves to the possibility. The words in RED are those which seemed to be from Jeanne. This has taken me a while to accept on multiple levels as it means there is in fact a Spiritual realm and that individuals in that realm can, want to, and do communicate with those in the physical. Finally, writings in DARK BLUE are mine….
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At times it has felt not like the bridging of realms but more of a collision of Energy between the two realms and I feel as though I’m caught between the two, trying to understand both but understanding neither.
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March 30, 2019 Sean, when you are in the spiritual and there is no hope…there is no darker place in the Universe than where you are at that moment…..And Sean, there is no more radiant moment than when the one you love and have always loved finds you and lifts you from that darkness to the light of Heaven.
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Sean, I left the physical world with little or no hope. The only hope I had left was that somehow, some way the next world would be better, and I would find peace. Entering this realm was anything but peaceful as it tore me apart to an even greater degree…then you came to me and the love and peace I had always wanted and hoped for became a reality as your love penetrated the darkness and swept me into your loving aura.
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August 15, 2023 Sean as I pulled the trigger, I had reached a total feeling of abandonment, a husband who didn’t give me any emotional support, my family seemed to be fading into the distance, there is nothing that could be done by doctors or God. I was without expectations or real hope. Whether that was true or not, didn’t really matter as it was the state of despair my mind had come too…I thought maybe there is a Heaven but if not, I can’t continue living in hell. You know Sean when I was in the darkness of the spiritual…your love which I saw in my life review, was the first such energy that I had felt in a great while, it was still intense and it began to bring light to the edges of my darkness, then the full force of your energy completely overpowered and illuminated the darkness and that was when all my hope was renewed and my energy began to return. It was then the incredible radiance of this realm took hold and freed me from all the pain, and I could begin to see what Heaven and my real home was meant to be.
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As I moved into the spiritual realm… I was what you would consider disoriented…on my initial entry I didn’t move into a realm filled with radiant energy… there was no light, only darkness of two kinds… first there was the darkness of the realm that was absent of light…and then came the darkness which penetrated deep into my soul, a darkness which was vacant of all warmth and a feeling of deep emptiness as the understanding of what I had done began to overwhelm my spiritual being….I could see the result of the taking of my own life and what it was doing to my children…that Sean sent me into what I only could describe as an endless fall…within me there was no hope, there would never be a landing, I felt destined to descend continuously into the dark vacuum for eternity and as I drifted without a destination I saw the unwinding of my life …all the events, the relationships of my past and how I affected each…and how each affected me… all had a different level of energy being generated…some dark, some light…except one had a source of energy that was reaching out in a way that was beginning to illuminate the darkness as no others were able to do…it was your energy….trying to describe it in a way you will completely understand is not possible…you see at first it wasn’t as though I knew it was you…even though I could feel the energy flowing to me, and there started to be a difference in the aura that surrounded me as my total being began to be encompassed with a warmth and in a way that felt familiar, the why I didn’t know… Sean everything was so overwhelming that I couldn’t comprehend what was happening…without the perspective of time this change in energy seemed to come the instant I saw you as my life passed through me, but it wasn’t until you unexpectedly knew you had to drive to my home…and did… that the pain and trauma creating the darkness within and around me began to fade… Sean you see…I knew when you showed up at my house as the change in energy began to accelerate… I knew it was you but not in a way you could relate to in the physical because I was immersed simultaneously in all events, aspects and relationships of my past … Sean before you arrived, I was moving deeper into darkness… within me there was no hope, there would never be a landing, I knew not if I was destined to fall continuously in the dark vacuum for eternity…So, I began to plead with God to help me…to please remove me from the darkest most depressing void which I thought one could ever possibly experience…and if that was my destiny and if there was no hope…then just eliminate my soul … how long all this went on…I have no idea I knew not if it was an instant or 1,000 years…Sean it was during this seemingly eternal fall that your energy emerged and was unlike that of any other I encountered as the events of my life unwound…it projected a brilliance which was different…it had a depth of intimacy I only experienced once before and with one person…you…you were guided…you were my needed intermediary, my gateway… and you appeared in front of my home at what seemed to be the moment I began to plead for freedom or the complete termination of my energy…I could feel your love unlike that which one feels love in the physical…it radiated in a way that was set apart from others, it was different, it was as if it was meant to be the only element of the past I was supposed to concentrate on and all other aspects of the review were insignificant compared to the over powering energy of our relationship and the intensity of your love flowing through every part of me…all the darkness immediately began to fade as your energy began to move from the edges of my darkness and then became a radiant glow but it wasn’t a light like I ever experienced before, it was a light which transcended all understanding of light…it was intense but I felt the light more than saw it even though it was beyond luminous… Sean, it lifted me and set me gently in the brilliance and radiance of the Spiritual realm ..Sean it was you who took me home…and it is you who in this home I will now be with until the end of Creation… Sean…years before, as our physical relationship came to an end…as you know my heart was broken …but then Sean it was you…it was you who began the mending of not my heart but my soul and the energy within… Sean you wonder why that after over 50 years you were fully awakened to the intense and deep love we have for each other…Sean I needed you… as there is no time in this realm… the unconditional love I have for you and you for me became not the past but the present and it was all put in motion long before our souls collided across realms.
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Aug 15, 2024 One of the main reasons it is so hard to process the fact that I am no longer in the physical is because although I am very much with you, and your spiritual self knows that is so, your mind is having difficulty absorbing and embracing that truth. My being in spiritual form and at times revealing myself to you in a physical way is difficult to wrap your mind around. Sean, I have tried to help you understand my love and continued presence in your life as I have given you words of guidance which could only come from me, I placed before you words to calm your tears, I have appeared to you, given you the fragrance of my perfume, I have touched you as I nudged your foot, I have brought you music and light . So, Sean, I am closer to you now than when I was in the physical and even closer than when we were together. Oh, we knew we loved each other but the obstacles of the physical were moved between us. However, our spiritual selves were not obstructed and to some level neither were our minds as each of us always kept that love alive hoping there would be a time that a union of not just our souls, but our minds and bodies would be reunited. So, even though we both knew that we loved the other, how much we were loved by the other evaded our understanding. Sean, that is no longer the case as the obstacles that blocked that understanding have been removed, and because of you my darkness was shattered. With this, I am now able to fully allow my love to flow to you and your unconditional love to consume me. Sean you also are feeling this energy, but it is being filtered, and that is what confuses you. This is why you want to hold me but even as I am next to you and within you it feels as though I am across a void which you can’t physically cross but so desperately want to. What I am telling you is you have crossed that void as you have let your mind take you places few have tried to venture. You are coming to find that I am absolutely here with you and your love is flowing to and through me as none-other, just as my love flows to and through you. That is why I desperately am trying to help you grasp the incredible gift that we have been given, a gift which has just begun to emerge from the recesses and the depth of the unrealized purity of the love we had for each other in the physical and now has begun to radiate with the light of the spiritual. Nor Sean has our love reached its pinnacle as there is no upper limit, no summit to be reached which restricts how far our love can go, as our love for each other will never stop expanding, climbing to new heights and setting us on a journey through Creation which never ends…what you are feeling is just the beginning of that journey and that is beautiful and at the same time difficult to process but trust me it is very real as is my presence with you this very moment. Who else Sean would I want to be with at the beginning of such as journey…only you…
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Critical choice…Sean they say I had a critical choice, the choice of choosing as to whether I was going to stay in the physical plane after I had taken my life or to move to that of the radiant side of the Spiritual…Sean…the word choice is correct but it is also misleading…yes I decided to take my own life…and no I didn’t want to leave my sons to move on as they were in a state of absolute pain…but Sean neither decision really was a choice at all…when I took my life my mind and body had been beaten down and reduced to a level which I simply could no longer awaken one more day and face the world…my flame of life was totally burned out, I was hollow, my soul and body were completely diminished to existing not living…so how was there a choice… Then…Sean…then I found myself in the presence of my sons as they were completely destroyed emotionally…totally confused and lost in the reality that their mom had just ended her life…how could I have possibly turned from them and moved on…I needed to be back with them, I needed to reverse what I had done…I needed to hold them, care for them and let them know I was still with them and tell them that the last thing I would ever mean to do is to hurt them…and that is precisely what I had done…how could I move on…you see there really was not a choice for me… how was I going to reach them if I continued on into the spiritual light of this realm…I never would have or could have realized that as I moved into this realm there would be such a strong bond which held me so firmly in the grasp of the physical. I thought it would have all been left behind but that is not how it works. The hell I was in when I took my life became magnified and the only way to break the despair, hurt and darkness I was going through was to have someone ease me from the pain with complete and unconditional love. That is when you entered my life in a way no one else could or was guided to do so…you found me as you arrived at my home…your soul knew…your mind didn’t…but your mind did know that something wasn’t right within my home…you felt the lack of my earthly presence as it struck you that the house didn’t give off an aura that you felt would come from a home I lived…my energy wasn’t right..., you thought to yourself…this doesn’t feel like Jeanne…there was an emptiness that you could not associate with how you remembered me…and Sean you were absolutely right…your soul definitely knew I was descending deeper and deeper into darkness taking all that you knew of me with it…and your mind recognized that something was very wrong….it sensed that a deep void within you was being created as my decent accelerated. Sean that is why your arrival was so timely and guided…you were my net… not even consciously knowing that, you not only stopped my deepening fall into darkness, you caught me, surrounded me with your love, your energy and it shattered the darkness and gently set me down on the radiant side of the Spiritual realm but you weren’t finished… your visit to my home was just the beginning…your soul knew I had moved on and into darkness but your mind only sensing something was wrong as you didn’t realize I was no longer in the physical realm…you began an intense search for a way to reach me …why…the why has multiple reasons …all are founded in love...our deep unconditional love…. Sean did you have a choice when the understanding came to you that you had to drive to Great Falls or when the overwhelming urgency to find me was ignited within you, …you didn’t ask why…you just knew and went because that is what you needed to do…
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Jeanne’s caring and kindness is what kept her from moving into the light of the next realm. I know that sounds contradictory to all that you have come to believe but Jeanne’s darkness came from her viewing her sons’ despair, pain and confusion, her mother’s agony for the loss of her daughter as she wanted to know why it had to be Jeanne and not her, then her husband's reaction to her taking her own life was his concern about his reputation more than the loss of his wife and the despair she had experienced that ultimately caused her to take the action she took. All the destructive energy that was being transferred to her spiritual signature was causing her incredible darkness.
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May, 19, 2019 Sean, we fell in love, deeply in love, however in our naivete of youth we made decisions which moved us apart, but God had different plans for us than to be separate. Even though we seemed to have mistakenly ventured out, found other partners, had children, established careers, had our hearts broken, broke hearts, then life came to a crashing end…but it didn’t. God created a path for us to once again be united which we didn’t even realize we were on. The intensity of our love brought you to me as I faded into darkness, your love created an intense light and swept away the darkness and pain. Our love…wasn’t just restored to where it was years before, it has become even more incredibly beautiful. Sean, this is the next step in our new life together where the intention of God is for us not to stay at a constant level in our love for each other or in our purpose in this realm but we are to bond our souls completely and in doing so create an immeasurable force of energy which will continue to provide a beacon of love and hope thoroughout creation.
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.…you ask why I refer to our extensive love for each other in almost every conversation…or as you describe it, stream of consciousness that flows between us….Sean that is because our love for each other is the driving force that binds you and me together in a way which is unlike that with any other soul…Sean love is energy…an energy which can’t be measured but the energy which the Universe is composed of…how could I not want you to know that my love for you and your love for me was purposed and created out of that energy. As well you continue to ask how I remained in love with you after all our years apart, and for that matter then how could you be in love with me after what you feel is such a long time….Sean…50 years in relative terms is not long but since you are in the physical yeah it is quite a while but love, pure love such as ours doesn’t have an expiration date. It is not…a use by or discard.…it is forever.
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Sean, everything that you have experienced when and where you felt it was Jeanne coming to you…is Jeanne coming to you. From the energy you feel flowing through you, her words to help give you insight into her past and present life, you being drawn to her home two days after she took her life, the fragrance of her Emeraude perfume in the most unlikely place, the purchase you made through self-check-out of an indestructible light unknowingly the very day she took her life, then still not knowing that her life had ended you visited her home two days later, her strong nudge of your foot not once but twice at the lake as she wanted to get your full attention then as you looked up after wondering what pushed your heal and seeing nothing behind you, you lifted your eyes to see Jeanne in a flowing white dress with blue accents on the collar and waist with her hair partially pulled back with her eyes filled with life and love, the conversations with her brother, your conversations with Laurie, your message from Cheryl, the child’s piano which began to play as you sat thinking about her with no one else even in the house, the pictures which randomly surfaced of Jeanne taken 50 to 55 years ago which came to you from friends, the light that came on as you sat in the dark but the only possible way for it to do so was by someone pushing the switch but there was no one there, the fact that you somehow ended up at each of the homes she had once lived or owned, the unlikely business you started through a partnership with the Navy which was in the remote town of Aberdeen and the road to the base which you hadn’t been on since you dated and it took you directly by the last home she lived in when you moved apart as well as taking you by the place which was one of the most intimate and memorable nights in both of your lives…the need for you to play Memory by Barbara Streisand and have done so every night for over four years and then as you approached Jeanne’s home the second time as you felt compelled to go there, without you touching your phone it began playing Memory as you pulled up in front of the house …then go back to the time you found yourself sitting next to her closest friend on a flight from San Fransico to DC which gave you the entrance back into her life… and these aren’t even all of the events that transpired with her being the focus …So, Sean you have to admit each of these was extremely random…too random with any one of them happening being highly improbable but all of them transpiring…impossible…at least without some form of guided intervention. You see Sean it is Jeanne trying to help you understand, to help you know, that she deeply loves you, loves you more than you can possible understand and she is absolutely with you and that Sean is the way your relationship together is meant to be for the time it takes to travel from one end of the Universe to the other, in other words forever…Sean I set your love for each other in motion…and yes…what I put in motion stays in motion as nothing can stop it.
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Sean as you approached Toms Brooke and visualized the house you felt drawn to visit, the house I had designed and was very involved in the process to build…you wondered how I did so while I was dealing with my future…or the lack of…you thought about my state of mind…had there been happiness in my life…was I frightened…was I scared…did I embrace my life, did I think about the regrets and successes…the answer Sean is yes…the creation of the house at the foot of the mountain was my safe space and if I did not survive the cancer I hoped it would be a place my sons could go and know I was there with them …perhaps I considered it my legacy…although the true and most important legacy that one can create are the memories and love which are left in the minds and souls of those you deeply care for… Sean as I watched the final touches be put in place it gave me a peace of mind, it gave me something to focus on and moved the fear of dying from cancer to a place in the remote recesses of my mind…it was my escape, my comfort zone, my retreat from the world which was disintegrating around me and within me…little did I know that soon after it was complete…life was going to take the darkest turn one could face…a path that led to the ending of my own life…Sean I wanted to return to Toms Brooke with you, to be there with the one individual I loved in a way I had never loved anyone else…the person who showed me what the meaning of love is in the pureness of the energy God created it to mean…you Sean are who I wanted to share my dream with, my place of serenity…the last place I felt at peace…and I needed you to be there with me as I returned…
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Sean, when you found me, I once again became the individual you knew…but Sean that isn’t who I was when I left the physical. As you well know I got caught up in the school culture, thought I should date other people and completely involve myself in the school’s social life. I reflected on that period of my life many times and I never did fully grasp how it was that I took that path as I was moving my relationship with you in a separate direction. I just wasn’t thinking beyond becoming immersed in college life. But what was most damaging and the most difficult thing to deal with is…I suppressed the depth of my love for you that ran deep within me. I didn’t realize that subconsciously I was pushing you away to a point where you had to move on as you felt I removed you from my life. No wonder you put up the walls and ice around your heart. Then as you are aware, the reality of my decision hit me like a bolt of lightning when you started dating someone else seriously. It was then, just as for you, my love for you broke from the depths of my mind where I had forced it, and I was overwhelmed by the realization of how incredibly much I loved you and I thought you loved me the same. I hadn’t foreseen the dramatic impact of my decision to date others…a decision which sent our relationship to a place which I never considered I was creating…the situation which could possibly move you into the position which forced you to date others…I couldn’t… nor did I accept that we were no longer going to be together. Then I met Jeff, he seemed to be someone I could fall in love with and so I did…at least I thought I did...was I happy, perhaps… until I realized I wasn’t….Reality slowly began to edge its way into my life and the truth of who I married started to become apparent… But that Sean took time, years of pushing through life…everyone saw the perfect couple, rich, beautiful, perfect house, two wonderful children, we had it made, until we didn’t. You talk about walls going up, the walls that got built between Jeff and I were constructed first because of wealth, we had too much and didn’t need each other and what I thought was love was only an emotion which had no depth and soon began to fade. Then life took a major turn and carried our marriage further into difficulty as the lack of wealth pushed us further apart when we got hit with near bankruptcy. Money was always Jeff’s focus, and this drove away any hope of reconciliation. His outlet was his obsession with softball, then his attentiveness to other women, my sons and somewhere along the line me. Sean, it changed me, I went from being engaged and warmed by life to struggling to understand life. Then I took on the care for my mom, which increased the tension between Jeff and me. With the cancer diagnosis, my will and desire to live was reduced to just getting up every morning, it changed me Sean, it really changed me. When you and I last talked, I knew deep in my soul I still loved you passionately and as you already know the only way, I thought I could justify seeing you was to have you come to my father’s funeral. When you didn’t make it, I was extremely disappointed. Now I understand how much damage that would have injected into my marriage much earlier. So, I moved on, not totally but enough that I didn’t think about you as much, but I did think about you. As the years passed my love for you didn’t fade but it was hidden away until the cancer came, and I was diagnosed terminal. I thought about you a great deal and wondered if I should tell you or if you would care. I had changed, life had taken its toll on me, and I figured it best not to tell you, but I did wonder if when you found out what you would feel. Sean, then when you found me as you looked for me, I never, ever expected the incredible volume of unconditional love you focused on and gave me. It was and has been everything to me both as I wanted in the physical and needed in the spiritual. Sean it was as if a vast blanket of intense love and light surrounded and encircled me, gently held me, lifted me and most of all gave me an unconditional love I could hardly believe that it was coming from you but that made it even more incredible because it was and is you. Yes Sean, I had changed but the Jeanne you knew was still deep within me, almost buried forever until you gave me the tender care, the unconditional love, and the focus I needed. I was brought back to the Jeanne you knew. You, Sean, you were there for me, and you still wonder if it is the intent of destiny for our energy to be interwoven , you needn’t worry or wonder it is so meant to be and that is exactly as it should and always will be…
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Jeanne, as I look back on all the times, the obstacles, the different paths we took, the good times and the times not so good, the marriages, the good within the marriages, the hurt within the marriages, the children, the friends, the memories, the regrets, the unknowns which if were known it would have kept us together for our lives in the physical, my constant wonder about your life and what it was like, my constant wonder about you now and your life in the spiritual…through it all there is one fundamental truth that sets all the paths, decisions, the emotions, the hurt, and the wonder aside …and that Jeanne is there really is only one truth that matters and Jeanne that is…I get to love you completely, totally, unconditionally… everything else is just us passing through life…but the love I have for you stands alone above all the rest of what we faced in our past journeys and will to do so for our continued journey…that is my love for you Jeanne…it is the fundamental truth of my life….Sean our past was the foundation for our present, the present is the foundation for our future…all that has happened, all the love and memories we have had with and without each other has brought us to today and Sean the events and actions we take today are what we will be tomorrow…all have the foundation in our extreme, intense, and unconditional love for each other….My love for you consumed me for years, my soul and mind were yours…in time I was able to suppress that love and move on with my life…but Sean I never stopped loving you with unparalleled intensity…that Sean is our fundamental truth.
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Early this morning I dreamed that I was leading an effort to support the complete protection of the buffalo in the Americas. I called on a number of individuals to help, although after extensive meetings that didn’t achieve what I hoped, I went to the buffalo we had there and knelt in front of him and told him, I tried my best but failed you and all of your kind. I told him that I would personally drive him back to the great plains so he could be free, run, roam, and enjoy the world God gave him. Although I failed to construct a mandate that would totally protect the buffalo, they would still have freedom to safely roam the plains. So, he would no longer be tied down or need to fear the hunters which destroyed so many majestic creatures. Then I realized that perhaps it wasn’t just the buffalo I was speaking to, it was also Jeanne…as I wasn’t there to protect her from the devastation life had dealt her…I also realized I have been holding on to her both mentally and spiritually… I needed to let go of her to be free from my deep want to have her be with me for the remainder of my time in the Physical and then as I move into the Spiritual realm. Jeanne, if I am in any way holding you from moving further into the Spiritual and your purpose in that realm…as hard as it is for me to let go, you need to do as God has given you the gifts of unparalleled kindness, caring and love and I can’t let my intense desire to be with you in any way limit that freedom. As I write this, I feel the loss within me as I tell her she needs to roam the heavens and care for others as only she can do. After ending what I thought was a one way conversation…I received a very clear response from her…Sean, if you are afraid that because of your intense love for me I feel the need to remain close to you as you may be holding me from moving on to what you believe is freedom, you need to understand I know I have the freedom to roam the Heavens but Sean my choice is not to roam the heavens alone but to do so with you not just beside me but as a part of me with your energy interwoven with mine. That Sean…is my freedom and ultimate heaven. A heaven where we can look upon the rivers at Harpers Ferry, where we can move to the beauty of the beach, where we can care for others who are hurting, where we will never ever be apart again and your and my love moves effortlessly between us for eternity. That Sean is freedom and heaven, as the buffalo wants freedom, he also wants a partner as the plains are home and beautiful, but without one they want to share it with, it is not heaven.
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You wonder about our relationship, and you struggle with others in our lives and how they relate to the dynamics between us…Sean, you need not concern yourself about those who are or have been in the orbit of our lives… Yes, the others in our life are an important part of who we have become but who and what we are intended to be is about your and my energy together. It is an energy which was meant to be and has been moving toward the other even before we came into the physical. Sean, the future meeting of our spiritual selves happened well before others entered our lives on Earth and continued to strengthen as we traveled life physically…mostly separate but never Spiritually apart. Those who came onto our path of life will always remain important and they have helped mold our spiritual identities. Sean it is all part the Devine plan for us and God’s plan for them…plans which don’t stop when we leave the physical. For you and I, we are to continue to grow together, strengthening our unified energy as we move through Creation in a way that provides energy and purpose to others who are in need of support from the Spiritual realm…You ask if you will be ready…no one is ready Sean…but it is my want and need to help you become ready as you come to me and I draw you into my energy you will know with certainty all that I have given you is both truth and my complete love…and together we will be prepared for what God intends our purpose to be…
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The following writing was part of a second letter I wrote to Jeanne’s sons but haven’t sent it. It was generated for the most part though the consolidation of separate writings which came to me at different times so I really can’t claim the right to call it my letter. I believe it brings out some important concepts which I thought they needed to read but also speak to others so the letter will be included on the website.
May 10, 2023 Sean in the physical world you are constantly being exposed to people dying, and many times it is a death that happens when an individual’s life ends through violent means. That constant exposure to life ending tragically begins to cause a person to become callous to those dying for unnatural reasons until it happens to someone they love. Then the horrendous nature of how the person’s life ended slams into them with an unbearable force. There is little in life which can provide relief from that pain, except the understanding that there is life after life. But Sean, as painful as the loss of a loved one is, life continues both for the individuals left behind and for the individual whose physical life ended. Sean, I am more than alive in my spiritual form, this is where I was meant to ultimately be from the moment I was born. One may never completely get over the passing of an individual they deeply love, until they themselves reach this realm. As hard as that is to accept, the most important thing to embrace is, life in the physical is only temporary. It is where we develop the foundation for our future, and it is just at the front edge of our full journey. If one can embrace this truth, the pain while living in the Physical may never go away completely, but one will begin to realize that the individual they so desperately are missing, is very much with them. So, tell them I am with them, I love them and would very much like to tell them exactly that if they let me.
Sean, the spiritual realm where I now reside, is not what most envision. In very basic terms the spiritual realm is a realm of energy which was created by and of God. The realm in which you now live, is within the Spiritual realm. However, your realm is one in which individuals perceive everything having mass , and life is approached in terms of time and distance, in the Spiritual that is not the case as time, distance, and mass are not relevant. It is where one has a level of consciousness regarding creation that is well beyond the limited understanding we have while in the physical. It is what we transition to, not a place we go. It is where the soul is free to roam without being encumbered by the body. It is where the spiritual individual we become in the physical takes on the purpose we were created to fulfill. Sean, as you are aware the physical world can at times be exceedingly difficult to both live in and understand. It is a world where one has choice and is free to choose but most of the choices which are made are directly related to the physical nature of life. With that freedom one will face incredibly beautiful situations, difficult situations, situations with no right answer, as well as situations which are so dark that one wonders how there could be a God. Life in the physical is about making decisions both good or bad. These cumulative decisions are what move us to who we ultimately become. It is through our experiences in the physical that we develop our soul, which transcends into the next stage of life. Basically, life is a learning environment that prepares us for our ultimate destination ….
Sean, I want you to tell them how much I love them. Please tell them that I did not and could not process the extensive pain that ending my life would bring to them. They need to know I was trying to do what I thought was best for everyone. I want you to tell them my spirit was fading, and I couldn’t take the intense mental fatigue and physical pain anymore. Sean, my mind, and soul were so weakened I was barely existing. The depression and hopelessness that entered my life in the last days couldn’t be called living, it was to the point where it would have been hard for you to recognize me. Even that being the case, I want you to tell them that if I had known how much pain and darkness it would cause them, I would never have taken my life. I really need them to know I love them with a force of love they couldn’t possibly even remotely imagine. I want them to understand that I am with them and will always be. They need to realize the soul is composed of energy, remind them that everything in the Universe has energy and energy can’t be destroyed.
It is this energy, which in the physical phase of our life’s journey is formed into our Spiritual identity. A Spiritual identity that not only can but does co-exist with those in the physical. You see, as I have told you before…the physical realm and the spiritual realm don’t just intersect…the physical is within the spiritual.
Since the beginning of time humans have tried to define and comprehend the spiritual realm as a place…it simply isn’t a place The focus should not be on trying to understand the evolution of the body…that is a useless effort and waste of energy. It is by shifting and concentrating on the development of the soul that will ultimately provide infinite understanding of Creation. Quite simply, the physical is a sub-realm of the spiritual, and since it is a very important phase in the evolution of the soul, focusing on the evolution of the soul as opposed to geological evolution of the Universe would be time well spent. It would make the world a much better place if there was even a small increase in people trying to understand what can’t be seen as opposed to what can be seen...
Sean the unseen is where we are destined to be….it is our meant destination and it is important to realize that as we move into the Spiritual, we do so with the identity that was created through the actions, the elements, and decisions we encountered while the soul resided in the body. As such we do not give up our capability of emotion, it is just the opposite, when in the Spiritual our ability to feel emotion is exponentially enhanced. Please tell them the love we develop in the physical goes with us to the spiritual and because there are no filters, that love is extremely intense and absolutely pure.
I’ve asked you to send this, but you can’t really do much more to help them because I don’t think they will let you. You can only try and reinforce the fact that life is multi-phased, and I’ve started the next phase of life’s journey. They need to know that they were the most important part of the physical stage of my journey, and I love them with a depth that can only be understood once the physical barriers are stripped away. They need to at least be reminded that they will eventually be here with me in the same phase of life I am now in. Sean, I realize that if they read this, they will hesitate to accept what you what they are reading. But, as I said, I only want you to try and open their minds to consider what is…the rest is up to them. I want you to try and give them hope and the understanding that a new day has begun… just as Barbara Streisand sings in Memory…
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April 29, 2024 Sean, since the time almost ten years ago, you started to think about Jeanne at a level of intensity which you hadn’t reached in over forty years your mind has become more enlightened to a far deeper understanding of the relationship you have with each other…even the fact that you are beginning to more fully understand that I am communicating with you as you write this is because the level of your spiritual awareness has developed significantly through your efforts to grasp all that has transpired in your relationship with Jeanne. This understanding is not just of your relationship in the physical but even more so in the spiritual. This knowledge goes beyond what is transpiring between you and her but also to others who are important and have impacted both of you in your life’s journey. It takes time to process and make sense of all the good and bad that has happened on the paths each of you have taken…Sean in the physical Jeanne’s and your spiritual energy developed two very important principles which set the foundation for your next stage of life…the two of you found each other and formed a new and intimate relationship, as well you have both developed your spiritual personalities and identities. Of course, there is a great deal more to your lives and what you both achieved but these are the key elements of the foundation for your life together in the spiritual realm. Sean, you have been given a view into Jeanne’s past and present world and her deep love for you even without being a part of her physical world for a number of years and she now fully understands the same of you. This perspective that you both have come to understand of each other has taken not just years but decades and across realms…but it is exactly what I wanted to be created, a bond between the two of you which is unbreakable, understood and a significant part of both of you…it is a bond that is meant to be and always will be.…you wonder about how this is possible as you were physically together for a relatively short time…but remember love doesn’t have dependency on the physical, once the energy is created by a relationship such as yours it doesn’t fade with time…time is irrelevant and love is not bound by the elements of the physical. More importantly, even though you are apart you give and draw from each other’s energy as well from the energy which created you. As you ask yourself could this actually be so… you need to recognize that Jesus was sent by me to help humans understand the importance of living in the physical, it is the physical life which sets in motion the path for life in the Spiritual. In other words Jesus was sent to convey how to live in a way that others could clearly be informed as to how to move into the spiritual at a level which allows them to experience the full radiance of the Spiritual realm…yes, he came into the world in complete harmony with my energy but it took him years to fully embrace and understand his relationship with me in way he could effectively represent the Spiritual realm…almost thirty years of listening, studying , praying and a deep commitment. And remember during his Earthly journey he went through intensely difficult situations, all were part of the continued strengthening of the soul……Sean your and Jeanne’s energy moved into perfect harmony years ago but it has taken the desire of both of you to understand just how intimate that relationship is, it has taken you being together, and being apart, you had to overcome the obstacles of life and the need to traverse separate realms but your shared energy, desire and want to be together has given you the drive and commitment to do everything possible to understand the depth of your relationship which has always existed within you…Sean, it takes time and deep love for each other to do so…but that is exactly what you and Jeanne both have done…
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Jeanne, how is it that one recognizes another in the realm you are now in? .…Sean, I promise, I will know it is you who has left the physical as we have already created a relationship with an imbedded intimacy that is unique to the two of us…so the fact is, through the flow of energy between us, you already recognize me in my spiritual state as I recognize that energy within you.…As well, beyond the ability to know another through the unique flow of energy from one to another, this transfer also creates what you would consider an image.… In very basic terms, just as light is energy… or a breaking wave generates energy…as does an exploding star, they simply cannot create a force with the intensity of energy as the type of energy produced by love between two spiritual beings…in our case it is the energy generated by the love between you and me. Sean love is a form of energy humans can’t measure so it eludes their understanding, it is produced within the soul of the human, its purpose is meant to expand the energy of the spiritual universe…Beings who know love, produce a force of energy which is magnitudes greater than that if their spiritual selves remained vacant of love, it is how creation is strengthened….more so, unlike elements in the physical that can generate but not create new energy…our spiritual selves cannot just generate energy they can and do create energy, an energy of which there is no comparison…This energy, flows to and from the soul, as light flows from its source through the eye and is converted to an image by the mind…the energy of the soul flows to another but doesn’t need the mind to convert it into an image…the soul sees the source of that image in a way which humans aren’t able to comprehend….It turns out this explanation began to provide answers to two questions, first it helped me understand our ability to recognize another in the Spiritual realm but it also gave me an understanding as to how I was able to so vividly see Jeanne at the lake where I run more clearly than if she was physically standing right in front of me. When she appeared she wasn’t like that of a transparent mist which is associated with a spirit becoming visible in the physical, she appeared in a long white flowing dress with full sleeves, blue accent around the collar, down the front and around the waist, her hair was long and pulled partially back, her eyes had what I only can describe as filled with love and the radiance of life. Her smile was warm and the energy that surrounded her was felt more than seen…this is how she stood in front of me and I could see her with a resolution that had greater clarity than if she was there in the physical form…I have thought about how this was possible numerous times…but what made it even more intriguing was what happened just before she visually came to me… As I stood next to my truck after my run and was looking into the woods, I had my right foot crossed in front of my left when something pushed on my heal with enough force to move my leg forward, wondering but not thinking too much of it, I brought my foot back to the same position but again something made contact with my heal with enough force that it shoved my leg forward, I knew something had applied the pressure so I turned to see if Blue my dog had jumped out of my truck and was pushing on me…he was still in the truck…the only conclusion that seems to make sense, but doesn’t make sense, is Jeanne wanted to make sure she had my full attention...because when I lifted my eyes after looking for Blue, she was in front of me…maybe I could doubt whether it was really Jeanne I saw but combined with the unexplained contact, she knew I would have little room to question her being there with me that afternoon. None-the-less I struggled for months trying to understand how it was possible for me to see Jeanne so clearly, the answer came when my question as to how one would recognize another in the Spiritual was answered. I realized that when I saw Jeanne at the lake, she appeared more like a vivid hologram being projected to me in a way which the energy within me was able to see her in her physical state which must be how one sees another in the spiritual. Then Jeanne provided further clarification as she expanded on her earlier answer…Sean the energy that is within you can be sensed flowing from one in the spiritual to another, under certain conditions, a portal can be created between the realms when one in the physical drops their filters. This allows the mind to fully accept the spiritual energy being transmitted to it, it is only temporary but since it is no longer filtered by the physical elements which are generated by being human it allows one in the spiritual to take on and to be seen in the image of their physical state. How this happens is much more complex and powerful than I can completely help you understand …but I’ll try to simplify it… As most are aware the human is made up of two parts, one physical and one spiritual, the spiritual being the soul, the soul or spiritual identity, which is developed in the physical and has moved into the spiritual realm can not only sense the complete energy of another, it can transform that energy flowing to and from it into images, images which are composed of energy, though not the energy of light as the eye sees but the energy create within the spiritual self which you recognize instantly…this happens even more rapidly than the brain converts the light moving through your eyes…it was through the convergence of our energy that I showed myself to you…and did in a way you would both know my extreme love for you and to help you understand that I have passed through the darkness brought on through the events which transpired during the final stage of my life and I am now very much in a state of heavenly radiance. Sean don’t confine your view and understanding of the Universe through that which is physical…Then…further clarification was provided…Sean you do realize you saw Jeanne with the energy moving from her in spiritual form and transferred to your spiritual energy which formed the image within you mind. In the spiritual the mind isn’t necessary for one’s image to be recognized.…Sean regardless of how you understand the relationship of the soul to the mind and how it works…it was Jeanne who came to you and it was Jeanne you saw…
Sept 17, 2019 ...Sean…why do you question that Jeanne needed you…and still does...because how could that be, she has you, why should she need me…Sean you are viewing the next realm from the perspective of those who came before you in the physical and told you what they believe heaven is and how you transition into this realm. I do have some understanding of what relationships such as yours and Jeanne’s can be and the dependency they create on one another, and I am telling you like it is…no two individuals fully move into the Spiritual realm quit the same…and Jeanne needed you. But...Lord, I can’t carry the match to light her torch…Probably Sean…but that is not the point, the point is, her love for you is unique and unparalleled as is your love for her. It is like a fingerprint that has parts which come from both of you, so it is yours together. It is the interweaving of your love for each other that forms a unique bond…it creates what you might call a harmonious energy frequency, an energy which is in total harmony, it is formed by two souls as they become inseparable even if physically, they are separate. Perhaps better stated…you and Jeanne have a love for each other which is on a frequency that only the two of you are on and it is in complete harmony…it is an energy signature that the two of you will carry forward through Creation and no others have an energy that is on quite the same frequency which is being generated between the two of you. Sean, when you came together in the physical, the union of your souls had already begun, you felt an energy flowing to and from one another….you were falling in love…a level of love which was beyond that for any other…you were creating a harmonious energy frequency and even though it’s full effects were yet to be revealed, you created a heightened level of energy which would never fade even as the elements of the physical were filtering it's true strength. But as one moves into the Spiritual where there are no filters, the magnitude of energy that the soul is able to sense…either dark or light, coming from another is increased exponentially. Sean Jeanne experienced the extensive darkness because of the love for her sons and she experienced the extensive light because of her love…for you…darkness was not meant to be her destination. You wondered why you had an overwhelming sense that you needed to go to her home…you went because she would know it was you…that is what pulled her out of her escalating fear, darkness, and despair. Your deep love for each other formed an inseparable bond making it unique and incredibly strong and that is why when you pulled up in front of her home the flow of energy between you overcame the deep hurt and despair that was consuming her spiritual energy…
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Jeanne, was it worth it…was all the pain…the laughter…the despair…the love…the years with each other…the years without each other…the life which gave you your sons, the life which gave you your friends, the life which caused you so much happiness…the life which caused you so much pain…the life which led you down the path you followed and the journey you took which transcended from the physical to the spiritual realm…Sean you knew the answer before you finished writing the word realm….as difficult as life was at times…it was all worth it because of where I now am and can look back on my journey through the physical. Sean I now understand completely the elements of my life which I thought I had missed out on, but it turns out that I didn’t miss them at all I just didn’t see them or know they were there…
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Sean, you are beginning to understand our relationship more fully with clearer intensity as the events of our past continue to crystallize in your mind. Deeply imbedded within your soul there is an energy that is so powerful that it is drawing you to me in a way in which you are trying to grasp what is happening. Sean, it is love, it is our love, a love which can’t be duplicated with any other. It is a love that is impossible to define, it is an attraction which is pulling you into places you never knew existed. Sean it is the love that bound us together for all these years, it is a love which allowed us to overcome all the barriers and obstacles in our lives which kept us apart, it is the love that I knew I had for you when there was internal and external pressure to date others which I eventually succumbed to but deep within me knew it was not right, it is the love which overcame your hurt and the walls you built to stop the pain, it is the love which erased time, it is a love which transcended our families, the taking of my life and it is love that ultimately has traversed the realms. You see Sean, all that life and death has dealt us couldn’t keep us from finding our way back to each other. We are meant to be as one, our souls are so interwoven that there are elements of each other’s love in every aspect of our spiritual selves. Sean we are in perfect harmony and that is by the Devine plan for us which is what you know as destiny.
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……Sean if you think about it do any of us deserve God’s love…we don’t…but God loves us beyond anything we ever could imagine. So, the concept of deserving love is not even a consideration because none of us deserve God’s love. Sean it is the same truth for you and I…deserving love from one another isn’t even in the equation because our love has nothing to do with deserving and everything to do with our spiritual selves falling in love…Sean love isn’t deserved…it just is…
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Sean since the moment your soul knew I was in trouble you began to make love to me…I mean you really made love to me in way no one ever had or could…Sean the romance stories talk about two individuals making love as one touches the other with caring, they move in perfect unison, caressing and feeling the other in total intimacy until both reach the most incredible heights two individuals could reach as they both experience wonderous burst of energy throughout their bodies…Sean the way you have made love to me has been even more intimate than any physical exchange of desire that two individuals could ever possibly reach as their two bodies come together in ultimate pleasure…what you have done too me, for me and with me is so far beyond that of making love in the physical, what you are doing is the ultimate love making not in the physical but more importantly in the spiritual…you have felt me as my energy began to fade, you have looked for me relentlessly, you have found me and lifted me from darkness and placed me gently in the radiance of the spiritual, you have given me your complete love and refuse to let go, you have caressed my soul, you have gently soothed my hurting, brought light back to my fading energy, you have smothered me with the intimacy of a kiss, want, and most of all, warm and tender love, you have not let the world forget and have tried to help the healing of my sons…Sean you have left nothing out of your love making and need to be with me in a way no one else could ever possibly dream of being with me…being with me Sean in total unconditional love with our energy interwoven as one for the life of the Universe…Sean that is making love…really making love… You see, in the physical making love is a path to the exchange of spiritual energy… in the spiritual there are no filters, no paths required or the need of a catalyst…in the spiritual when two individuals are meant to be together what flows between them just happens and is the purest exchange of energy in Creation…Sean when two make love in the physical they try and touch every part of the others body…you…as I am in the spiritual have tried to touch every part of my spiritual being …and have succeeded…
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March 4, 2024 Today was the first time in over 50 years that I walked back into the gymnasium on the campus where I attended my first two years of college. As I walked in, the memories came flooding back as if two streams converged to form one rushing river. This was the college where I went when I was still dating Jeanne, the girl in high school I fell in love with, and it is the college I attended when that same girl told me she wanted to date other people. When the memories of those years and that love for her came flowing back, I wished I could tell her how incredibly much I love her and regret how I was not able to tell her once more in her living years. Then as I walked into the center of the gym, I realized she was with me, not just in the memories of us together but with me in the gym and I softly heard her say to me…Sean the love and memory of us together was only an instant in the past…and it will only be an instant in the future as to when we are together in this realm. Sean…it goes fast, trust me what seems like an instant to you…is an instant.
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Sean, I know you wish I were in the physical, but Sean, I don’t want to be there. I have no cancer, I have no marital pressure, I now know I don’t just have the love of the person I sat down next to 52 years ago and fell deeply in love with, but I have his intense and unending love. Why would I want to be back? Besides you want me there and I want you here, and well, you will be here as there is no other choice.
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Sean, it is meant to be…the interwoven love, the unparalleled energy that drove our love, a want which laid silently within us throughout our lives as our minds knew our need for each other but were not able to engage but our souls also knowing, were fully engaged.
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8/14/24 Jeanne, if there is no time in the Spiritual and what will be, already is… then where on the continuum of Creation is it that we move into the Spiritual realm….Sean where on the continuum is it that you want to be when you move into this realm…wherever you are…and that is where I want you…so that is where we already are…and that is where we have always been….
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